Monday, July 7, 2008

Now Married on a Social Networking Site Near You

Okay, I’m no longer a Facebook virgin but I may as well be. Things startle me on Facebook all the time. I suppose I could be called a noob, a word I stared at for a long time before I spoke it aloud and heard what it meant. Noob, as in newbie, novice, innocent.

Today I got an email from a former student of my sweetie’s. From India. Maybe I’m showing my age, but it used to take weeks to get a letter from India in the United States. Now, it takes nanoseconds. I’d had no idea he’d gone to India. This sort of surprise thrills me.

The one that really got me going was an email from Facebook asking that I confirm my marriage to Sheriden Thomas. I laughed out loud. Who puts someone they’re not married to in that name slot on Facebook? And why? Or is it to prevent people from publicizing their crushes?

After I confirmed that I was indeed married to Sheriden Thomas, my Profile on the site changed itself. It read:

Susan Corso is now married to Sheriden Thomas.

I laughed again. Now married? Yes, according to Facebook. In fact, we’ve been married for several years and counting. We met four years ago August 10th, had a pagan pre-marriage ceremony with a dear spiritual teacher that October 31st, got our legal “permit” (we live outside of Boston) October 13th the following year, and had a small, private ceremony on our gorgeous porch October 31st of 2005. So, we’ve been married three or four years depending upon which anniversary you pick—always on Halloween.

Facebook’s pronouncement that I was NOW married made me think, as I so often do, about what makes marriage work. I think that NOW is one of the great keys to successful relationships of all kinds.

Can I remember the good stuff from the preceding four years? Forget the “bad” stuff? And stay present to Sheriden? I make a sincere attempt so to do, I promise you that.

One of the reasons we chose Halloween for our wedding was to remind ourselves of a standard pagan practice with regard to marriage. Witches marry for a year and a day, and then they decide whether to re-up or not. I think successful marriage requires the daily, sometimes hourly or minutely, decision to re-up.

In a very real way, Sheriden and I get married every day, so thanks, Facebook, for the reminder.

1 comment:

Telly said...

same thing happened with my parents! after 30 years (and my entire lifetime) my newsfeed informed me that my parents "exchanged rings." They left out the fact that it happened in 1978.

I love the idea of present marriage, that it is a renewable contract and a partnership. You and Sheriden always remind me of that kind of teamwork.